Two more weeks.

Three more days with my children at Pascuales,

then it will be back to Los Angeles

back to school

back to work

and figuring out how to silence my deep desire to be in this part of the world; loving people

and how to not forget

I don't think I ever could, forget that is, though sometimes it seems like it would be easier

I will see my friends again, the people I love...I will be able to sing songs and learn to play more of them on guitar, in ENGLISH finally.

I will shop in grocery stores instead of the markets

and will be reminded of how much I do not fit in because of the way I think.

but it all makes me hope for that day when this longing in my heart will be satisfied. And we will all be where we were meant to be

together

in love

in perfection

singing

and dancing

with nothing to hold us back from communicating, or relating...we will be able to love eachother as we really want. There will not be the deep pain of realizing you can not help all the people who are hurting, and you cannot hold all the kids who are crying; or the 25 year old who thinks they will never be good enough and are afraid to make the wrong choice, or the 60 year old who cannot trust in hope anymore. We will be washed, unashamed, and healed.

But right now, I just have two more weeks to think about. Three more days to give hugs, and let them climb on me, and play with my hair, and call me their sister telling me stories about how we will go play at their house and do this or that. And I have two more weeks to learn from the family I am staying with. To be reminded that I do not have to be afraid, and that we are forgiven, and we are loved. Two more weeks to listen to the little neighbor kids run and play outside my window talking in their precious little spanish voices. Two more weeks of fresh air, and laid back culture. Two more weeks of greeting every single person standing in the room with a kiss.

"We were paying even more attention than usual, trying to tether ourselves to the earth, because the world was coming to an end."

I know Anne Lamott was not refering to Ecuador when she wrote this, but I feel as though it could be applied...At least by my first instinct. I feel as though I want to memorize everything, and then dig my claws into it, or forget something crucial here so it would make it impossible for me never to return. But I have gotten past that. I know that as soon as everyone comes back from a "missions trip" or a vacation from some part of the world they talk so much about returing their and how serious they are...then 4 or 5 months goes by and they have moved on. I do not want this to happen, and I do not expect it to. We will see in 9 months from now

Si Dios quiere, volverE